Field Trip to Red Heart (Red Hook)

Lunch on a grey tarp on a windy field.


Emma had a partner, Alex N., on the bus ride.


The magical pumpkin patch in Red Hook. The kids called it "Red Heart." It's a tough part of Brooklyn, where hipsters become farmers and grow organic greens on baseball fields.


I was excited to go to Red Heart. I'm ready to go anywhere. The big news is my dad came with me. He was one of the parents on the bus with me. It was so fun to have him. He had a special list with all the kids name on it. He let me hold it. Plus he saved my lunch for me. They always want you to eat it, right away, but I like to eat at my own pace. You don't rush worms to eat their lunch. You know worms eat coconut shells, orange peels and licorice and make it into fertile soil. I learned that at the community garden in Brooklyn that was right in front of a blue store called Ikea.

Daddy: I went on my first field trip. The school bus has a speakers along the sides of the ceiling playing pop music. The kids danced for one song and then just talked over it. One thing about being on a bus with kids, if you put your hands on the top of the seat in front of you, the kids in that seat will hit your hands. My hands were hit a lot. It was tiring and my hands were red but I was proud to be the dad of Emma on the bus.

Princess Dress Up Party

Me with Princess Oona, who is 5 like me


Briefed on how to be a princess, for real


The magical table


I didn't pose for the photos when they asked me to, so my dad took this picture. Now he must to put it in the party frame.


MnM's in glass shoes, butterfly wings, make-up, nail polish and shiny gowns are all just part of being a princess. It was super fun. I don't know why people want to give Snow White a poisonous apple or kidnap Snow White. What do people have against princesses. We're all super nice. The party was fun and you can see from the pictures, there were no boys. Maybe if boys had princess parties instead of paintball, or whatever they do, our society and world would finally go towards peace. Just a thought.

Daddy: Alan, the dad of Princess Oona, who was the birthday girl and I were the only men at the big event. I think Emma is right. Princess parties are the way to go. For my 47th birthday I am having a princess party, with gatorade, tennis and men in pink.

Summing up Summer

The Red Wood Trees go up and up and up!


Cousin Sara pulls me up a hill to a pool.


Coney Island: I went on a roller coaster, ate a Nathan's hot dog bun (I'm not a vegetarian but don't eat meat, except for Chicken Nuggets, and is that really meat?)


Arthur Ashe Kids Day, a passionate mob of youngsters hitting a yellow ball with a racket, no technique, just pure rage!


I went to San Francisco to see my cousins. Rachel, who is 13, had her Bat Mitzvah. She read from the Torah, a religious scroll. I didn't see it because I was playing in a sandy play ground because they don't like kids to talk during a ceremony with the Torah. It was Maddy's' fault. She kept saying, "My seat. My seat. My seat." Truthfully, it was boring, and I was happy to go outside.
Rachel was super cool and friendly and nice. She showed me how to do a head-stand and swim under water and she was awesome. She even does Facebook. San Francisco was much colder than NY. Manhattan was like a tropical swamp, without the water or coconut trees. Anyway I'm starting Kindergarten tomorrow so even if it is 95 degrees the season has changed (I hope it's not 95 degrees.)

Daddy: My wife wanted to go to Sesame Place to cap off the summer. I fell to my knees and said, "Please, sweetie, can we go next summer." She got mad until she saw I was crying. Summer is not easy.

Let go of my Lego

There's a picture of what looks like the Daytona 500. All isn't what it seems. If you look closely, all of the fans in the Florida heat are made of Lego. It seems anything you see in life can be duplicated out of little pieces of Lego. I wonder if their is a person on this earth who looks just like me but she's made of Lego.


Daddy: I've been reading a lot of Tripadvisor reviews. They are frightening. All of the warnings and criticisms of the great sights across America. But, you know, the truth is frightening. At the Legoland rides there are markings that say, "the wait is one hour from this point." It is not easy to occupy a 5 year old for an hour on light. All the songs and stories and times I say, "It's only five more minutes," feels like a long day's journey into Lego.


In this ride you pull your body weight up to the top of the rope, looking over the lake filled with Lego wildlife. See daddy lifting Emma to the top. Emma said, "Kids help pull, but Daddy did most of it."

Just Because I Love You Day

I declare today to be Just Because I Love You Day.


Daddy: It feels like the humid summer is coming to an end, which feels great, especially now that it's Just Because I Love You Day.

The family recently returned from San Francisco and San Diego, where we say cousins and grand parents and Tina. We'll recap the trevails of air travel and new ways for a meltdown over the next week.

Victoria Gardens

What do they grow at Victoria Gardens? Roller Coasters! That's why it's my favorite garden.


Daddy: Emma is 5. Her B-day is the event of the universe!

Well, maybe just to me. I was not able to meet the 15 kid minimum. My invitations don't carry the same wait as say Seinfeld. I invited every kid in her class, and all the kids we play with and then kids from past classes! Everyone claimed to have other plans such as their own birthday party (which was on the same day) or they are attending another party they were invited to first or they had to do their laundry.
I had to pay for a party with 15 kids when there were only eight. Victoria Gardens gave my bruised ego an extra kick in the gut.

It was a super fun party for Emma, and it is actually easier to have 6 kids and their parents than 15. Every kids party is a chance to learn and grow. What is my lesson? I am ready to commit to a 12 step program.

Rocking Horse Ranch

Riding Ponies, water slides, bungee jumpin', fireworks, disco dancin', ice cream at every lunch and dinner (Next year they should have ice cream at breakfast. Daddy said I can e-mail mangagement.) Rocking Horse Ranch rules!

Daddy: Imagine a world of horses, western music, rocking horses, families with kids you've never met surrounding you 24/7. The rooms are creaky, you hear the people above and next to you, but it doesn't matter because you only children are so hyped up that they don't fall asleep until 1 AM. I took Emma and Maddy to the front desk at 1 AM and told them, "Please, please help me." The girl at the desk laughed. She thought it was really cute.

As a 46 year old dad, if I was writing for Tripadvisor, I'd point out, that though it may be cute to have all the dining room furniture made of sticks, grown men need back support. For the love of God. The kids had an awesome time but I feel I need to put into a padded room, debriefed, have my back messaged by twenty midgets and slowly be allowed back into adult life.