Friday, March 30, 2012

Would you trust a dolphin with your child's life?

Emma: I swam with a dolphin in Jamaica. The Dolphin fell backwards and I grab his fins. It was fun. I can do anything. Next trip I'll swim with an Orca. That's a killer whale.

Daddy: I had a dream before dolphin day that Emma was standing on two dolphins as they swam across the ocean. Than the dolphins tilted her into the water between the two of them and nosed her ribs and pulled at her little body like seaweed.
Emma was looking forward to swimming with the dolphins and I never, ever want to disappoint her. I realize, I am too trusting of the world, leaving my little girl in the hands of a strange mammal, trained by a Jamaican dolphin trainer. Jamaican people, as a stereo type, seem to not get too upset when something goes wrong.
"Yah man. The dolphin was just playing with your daughter. They love to play."
Well, I am one of those kind of people who trusts a dolphin with his child's life. Oy, Emma, I'm sorry.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Jamaica here we come

FedEx arrived with the passport. My -poor daddy was sweating bullets, but I knew all along it would work out.
If you need to contact me send a postcard to Elmos and Friends, Jamaica.

Daddy: Elmo and friends, Jamaica!
Stay tuned.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Leaving the country=VALID PASSPORT

Emma: Before school on Thursday my dad took me to Duane Reade. Not for toothpaste, snacks or hair clips. No. It turns out, they take passport photos at our local Duane Reade. My passport expired on March 14th and we are flying to Jamaica on March 21st.
I didn't like having my picture taken in Duane Reade. It was creepy, like buying a home baked cookie in a dark alley way. This short Indian with a mustached held this wide black camera and said, "Smile like a big girl." I hid behind my daddy's leg. My dad explained this was official government business and it was quite important that I held my head up, looked straight ahead and smiled.
I had to look up, but not too high, and smile. After six tries, they said "Great" and I got to go to school.

Daddy: The nitpicky world of children's passports engulfed me. I am engulfed, frazzled, tense, on my knees preying I dotted all my T's and signed at the dotted line and wondering why I ever agreed to leave America. I am using one of those speedy express passport places, fed ex-ing government documents, hoping to god the government and the passport express and fed ex come through or we might not make it the Beaches, Negril, and Elmo and all the overstuffed Sesame Street characters will play with other people's kids and...sometimes I just wish my parents would take care of passports and government paper work. But, I am the parent now, and I am feeling the pressure. My parents never took me to Jamaica and they didn't even need passports.
It is harder to be a parent in point...Duane Reade passport photo...Emma needing a second passport because they expire every five years.