Monday, November 30, 2009


I've been so busy lately I haven't had time to write down my thoughts. It was 'giving week, with Turkey (didn't eat!), chocolate cake (ate the ice cream) and giant piles of leaves (climbed through 10 piles!).
I've been going on play dates at different schools (Bank Street, Fieldston, Manhattan Country Day), and taking IQ tests. I got "Very Impressive Work, 98th percentile."
It's silly. I don't need tests to let me know how brilliant I am.

I know the tests are silly and meaningless, but wonder where did Emma get all this so called intelligence from!
At the Bank Street interview they said they don't accept the scores. This made me a little mad. "Even if they get 98 percent!" I said.
Let my comment be stricken from the record.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Getting Candy in New York

Pumpkins, doormen, shoe stores, dry cleaners, grime, slime and crime; that's what Halloween in New York is all about. There was an article in the Times, or so I overheard at Henry's mom and dad's house (Vanessa and Brian Ward), that candy does not in fact give kids a sugar rush; any more than a bowl of carrots. Yes! Stop denying us kids what we really want: candy for lunch, dinner and brunch.

Daddy: Emma sampled MnMs and other treats going door to door in our apartment complex and along Broadway. Maddy ate through a tootsie roll wrapper, walked and crawled on side walkds, punch drunk with scuffed and grimy knees.
I like how Super Girl sits down for pasta in her high chair, like a cop who just finished her beat.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hello Kitty Photographer

While my mom was traveling in Colorado I took photos for her of our life in New York. Here you can see Daddy with Maddy in front of our building and my school. The great thing about photography is telling people where to stand, how to act and when to smile.

Daddy: Emma took great care taking her "Hello Kitty" photos with her disposable camera. The camera used real film that had to be sent out to be developed, so Emma only got 20 shots, not an unlimited amount. The hello kitty back round was somehow imposed on the film of the disposable camera, a merging of past and future technologies.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

How long until I'm 45

I didn't wear a diaper last night! I don't need any more diapers. Also, something else I want to know about, my dad is 45 and I wonder when I'll be 45? When I'm 45 how old will my dad be?

Yes, I am 45 going on 86. Emma is on her slow journey to becoming 45. She also wants to know when she'll be as tall as me.
"Next week," I say.
Now I will take a moment to reflect and rejoice: no more diapers. I thought the day would never come and here it is. After so many packages of diapers and wipes, strapping and unstrapping, this triumphant day quietly blends in.
The picture of Emma in Starbucks was taken by Swedish babysitter Malin on a road trip to Sacramento: Taking a moment to reflect on the growing baby.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Book Fair Un-fair

Last year they had felt letters to glue on bags. This year they tossed out pamphlets, filled some cups with crayons and said draw. That is how our down sizing economy deals with children, a bunch of plastic cups with crayons. Come on, don't you know we are the future!

Last years book fair, the sky was cloudy and over cast. This year it was blue and sunny, mercilessly hot for an October Sunday. I went back to the Columbia book fair, sponsored by Target and the New York Times, as a seasoned dad of two. I've been to children's parties, school fairs, I'm visiting Kindergartens in Manhattan, I thrust Emma into over crowded activities without hesitation. I'm starting to feel like Tom Arnold in that movie where Hugh Grant is not into having kids but his girl friend is pregnant. I hate movies that are that bad but some how linger in your mind for years.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I taught my friend Sky how to catch a large pink ball. You have to open your arms wide and close them when the ball is coming. She is three, so it was very difficult for her to figure it out. In fact, she got really mad when the ball bounced against her body. She is three so she doesn't see the big picture. When she's four she'll be able to close her arms at the right time and catch it, just like me!

Emma is such a fantastic teacher.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Don't try this at home

There's nothing my dad can't do!

Daddy: The recession has hit home.
In an effort to save money I gave little Emma home cut.
I watched a YouTube video by a mom named Candy. She filmed herself cutting her son's hair outside her garage somewhere in New Jersey. She made it seems so easy.
Well, once I started cutting her wispy curls I realized it was like I was lost in a a spider web, using a machete to cut myself free.
"I'm a loving father," I thought, "This will turn out OK."
In the morning my wife screamed, "Somethings is wrong."

She was right. Hair was jetting out at impossible angles.
It's annoying spending adult prices for kids stuff all the time but it is part of being an American. For $35 they fixed her up at Cosy Cuts. I will never use my $40 hair sheers again (contact me if you're interested, they've only been used once.) Fortunately, Emma looks adorable, like a miniature Leslie Caron. When I told my wife it would take "just a year" for it to grow back in, she was not pleased. The best new is four year old Emma could care less, as long as she has her mommy and daddy and a pink lolly pop.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

UPS Kids

I asked my mom, "Is this UPS kids?" She said it was for adults, but she was wrong. The UPS employees let me mail her letter and organize the packages. They have fun pens and paper and I gave Maddy my milk. I love UPS Kids.

Emma always wants everything to have a kids version. She single handedly converted the UPS store on 115th street into UPS Kids. Fortunately it was near closing time, and the few people in the UPS store were so punchy they liked having the "purple flash" and her sister take over.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Baby Nina

I have a new cousin. I am much bigger and older than Nina but already I can tell she likes me a lot. I jiggled her bouncy seat, showing her how to pull down on the lion and get him to roar. Well, really he played music.

Daddy: It's so exciting to see Emma relating with a baby Nina: Emma as an excited, mature 4 year old, ready to swaddle, burp and feed the milk.
As a side note, Marcy and Jurgen are doing a great job!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Back in New York for August

It's hot, it's muggy, but there is fun to have at grand-ma's pool and at all the great deli's of New York City. I followed Jelvis, the Jewish Elvis singing at all the great delis on his deli tour.

Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

I know Jelvis personally. He's more than just a grifter, he's a man willing to do anything for a hug and to make you smile. Emma saw his act at Barney Greengrass and Artie's deli, than went to Barnes and Noble for some Dora books. Beautiful pictures below taken by Ann Dermansky, AKA Grand-ma Annie.

Friday, July 24, 2009

West Coast. Let's find some gold!

Drive, shop, eat ice cream.
In San Diego they have a commitment to making shopping fun (notice the car and ride carts we used at Albertson's and Target. They have Dora collectibles at the super markets!)
The plane ride was long, I mean L O N G! Now I know what they mean by frequent flyer miles. Well, not exactly.
Every day it's sunny, so I have gone to the beach which is fun.

Daddy: Yes, Emma got to go to her first bonafide Mall. We bought Dora and Gabba-Gabba underpants at Sears and a wrist watch at Nordstrom and Kenneth Cole dress sandals which she wears every day. Yes the plane ride is long and I do know what Frequent Flyer means. Ughhh!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

iPhone madness

Daddy got an iPhone. He seems so happy, following me around with his little rectangle.

Yes Yes Yes
I have the cherished rectangle. This is the first iPhone blog entry. It seems tricky uploading photos. Help!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Big Big Party at Victorian Gardens

Rides are fun, but I'm against hi-speed spinning, swinging or 180 degree upside-down flips. It was a sunny June day and I blew out all the candles, in only three tries. I won a stuffed taxi, who wants to be friends with all the speeding cabs on the streets of Manhattan. I had SO much fun.

The emotions I felt at throwing the toddler party event of the season, rushed in on me like a hurricane, pulling me apart. Anxious, terrified, ashamed, grateful to be alive; I felt them all. I am so happy it is over, grateful there was no rain, injury and a good time had by all (maybe a few parents experienced torment.)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Four Four Four Four

I'm 4. I got a yellow bike, a blue scooter and a book about a run away dinner. All I want to do is ride my bike, scoot and see my vegetables run away. Notice the "Hello Kitty" party blowers. I picked them out.

When Emma said she just wants to ride and scoot, she meant it literally. She wouldn't go to camp until she rode her bike a little bit. She's definitely exerting herself as she grows up.
She did pick out the "Hello Kitty" party plates, cups, napkins and blowers.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Father's Day

My father is something special. I made him a king's crown and suddenly he sat up like a king and demanded all children bow down and listen to King Michael! I just like him to be my dad.

This father's day celebration, a crafts and story party held at the Morningside branch of the New York public library, complete with juice boxes and zip lock bags with gold fish crackers, was attended by two fathers: me and one other father, (who you can see behind me with his eyes closed.) The librarian sang the BINGO song, replacing the word B I N G O with D A D D Y. There is a man who cares for me and Daddy is his name-O!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

School is Out

I can't believe it, I finished! What a busy year. Weekday took us on a field trip to see Peter Pan, the marionette horror show. It was weeks ago but I've blocked it from my thoughts. Everyone was supposed to clap or else. It was terrifying. I started crying. Mommy, who was a chaperon, picked me up, carried me out and kissed me. Ms. Holden (my teacher, you can see her picture with Ms. Cox above) told me it was only make believe, but I still didn't like the pirates and the mean people.

Also, I learned how to play cello and violin this year, with Ellen Silver. There was an "I like Chocolate Ice Cream" Party. Wow, do so much, it's tiring just thinking about it, and, my birthday is eight days away!

I used to be terrified of the green witch in the Wizard of Oz. Emma some days seems so grown up but its good to be reminded, she's three going on four.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Photo Shoot in Riverside Park

Here are the actual pictures from Aunt Julie's photo shoot. I had fun and look fantastic.

Yes, Emma looks great. Hooray for Julie. See her fantastic stuff.