Getting Candy in New York

Pumpkins, doormen, shoe stores, dry cleaners, grime, slime and crime; that's what Halloween in New York is all about. There was an article in the Times, or so I overheard at Henry's mom and dad's house (Vanessa and Brian Ward), that candy does not in fact give kids a sugar rush; any more than a bowl of carrots. Yes! Stop denying us kids what we really want: candy for lunch, dinner and brunch.


Daddy: Emma sampled MnMs and other treats going door to door in our apartment complex and along Broadway. Maddy ate through a tootsie roll wrapper, walked and crawled on side walkds, punch drunk with scuffed and grimy knees.
I like how Super Girl sits down for pasta in her high chair, like a cop who just finished her beat.

Hello Kitty Photographer

While my mom was traveling in Colorado I took photos for her of our life in New York. Here you can see Daddy with Maddy in front of our building and my school. The great thing about photography is telling people where to stand, how to act and when to smile.

Daddy: Emma took great care taking her "Hello Kitty" photos with her disposable camera. The camera used real film that had to be sent out to be developed, so Emma only got 20 shots, not an unlimited amount. The hello kitty back round was somehow imposed on the film of the disposable camera, a merging of past and future technologies.

How long until I'm 45

I didn't wear a diaper last night! I don't need any more diapers. Also, something else I want to know about, my dad is 45 and I wonder when I'll be 45? When I'm 45 how old will my dad be?


Yes, I am 45 going on 86. Emma is on her slow journey to becoming 45. She also wants to know when she'll be as tall as me.
"Next week," I say.
Now I will take a moment to reflect and rejoice: no more diapers. I thought the day would never come and here it is. After so many packages of diapers and wipes, strapping and unstrapping, this triumphant day quietly blends in.
The picture of Emma in Starbucks was taken by Swedish babysitter Malin on a road trip to Sacramento: Taking a moment to reflect on the growing baby.

Book Fair Un-fair

Last year they had felt letters to glue on bags. This year they tossed out pamphlets, filled some cups with crayons and said draw. That is how our down sizing economy deals with children, a bunch of plastic cups with crayons. Come on, don't you know we are the future!


Last years book fair, the sky was cloudy and over cast. This year it was blue and sunny, mercilessly hot for an October Sunday. I went back to the Columbia book fair, sponsored by Target and the New York Times, as a seasoned dad of two. I've been to children's parties, school fairs, I'm visiting Kindergartens in Manhattan, I thrust Emma into over crowded activities without hesitation. I'm starting to feel like Tom Arnold in that movie where Hugh Grant is not into having kids but his girl friend is pregnant. I hate movies that are that bad but some how linger in your mind for years.

Catching

I taught my friend Sky how to catch a large pink ball. You have to open your arms wide and close them when the ball is coming. She is three, so it was very difficult for her to figure it out. In fact, she got really mad when the ball bounced against her body. She is three so she doesn't see the big picture. When she's four she'll be able to close her arms at the right time and catch it, just like me!

Emma is such a fantastic teacher.

Don't try this at home

There's nothing my dad can't do!



Daddy: The recession has hit home.
In an effort to save money I gave little Emma home cut.
I watched a YouTube video by a mom named Candy. She filmed herself cutting her son's hair outside her garage somewhere in New Jersey. She made it seems so easy.
Well, once I started cutting her wispy curls I realized it was like I was lost in a a spider web, using a machete to cut myself free.
"I'm a loving father," I thought, "This will turn out OK."
In the morning my wife screamed, "Somethings is wrong."

She was right. Hair was jetting out at impossible angles.
It's annoying spending adult prices for kids stuff all the time but it is part of being an American. For $35 they fixed her up at Cosy Cuts. I will never use my $40 hair sheers again (contact me if you're interested, they've only been used once.) Fortunately, Emma looks adorable, like a miniature Leslie Caron. When I told my wife it would take "just a year" for it to grow back in, she was not pleased. The best new is four year old Emma could care less, as long as she has her mommy and daddy and a pink lolly pop.

UPS Kids

I asked my mom, "Is this UPS kids?" She said it was for adults, but she was wrong. The UPS employees let me mail her letter and organize the packages. They have fun pens and paper and I gave Maddy my milk. I love UPS Kids.



Emma always wants everything to have a kids version. She single handedly converted the UPS store on 115th street into UPS Kids. Fortunately it was near closing time, and the few people in the UPS store were so punchy they liked having the "purple flash" and her sister take over.