Bowlmor

Bowling is fun. I like the scorers table and the heavy, heavy balls. I'd like to have my own heavy ball for my apartment.

Daddy: Birthday party chaperon to Bowlmor lanes in the East Village: There was pulsating top ten music (I'm guessing, was it was top 10?), giant video screens at the end of the lanes, neon dots lighting the alleys.
The visual overload made me long for the sad yellows, and quiet din of Bergenfield bowling, where you could really hear the balls with all the weight of a man's hopes slamming down upon the wooden floor.

These are "Horrific"

These are the proofs for my school picture. Miss Holden handed them to my dad and he said, "These are horrific." My mom loved them and is going to order a package deal. Beautiful or Horrific? You decide.

Daddy: I was both shocked by the photos and by my visceral response. My wife says I take things way to seriously and this is the way school photos always are.
Why is Emma holding flowers? Is it a school photo or a kids beauty pageant? Why is there a white picket fence, isn't she going to school in the city? Miss Holden told me I wouldn't have to buy the pictures. I shook my head and sighed because she doesn't know Adina. There is no question that I'm going to buy these bizarro school photos.

Warm Weather = Madness

My dad took me to Central park to meet a girl named Brianna for a play date. "Emma would you like to go on a special play date. We'll take the train to Central Park."
Sounded innocent enough.
Swarms of toddlers descended upon a concrete mountain. There was a latter in the middle of the mountain. Kids were climbing up and down the one latter at the same time. Not a pretty sight.


DADDY: It was terrifying watching Emma descend into the bee-hive of New York Toddlers. Boys were climbing over her tiny limbs, girls were pushing her to go faster. Emma slowly climbed up. As a 212 pound man, I couldn't fit into this toddler mountain. She was on her own. I thank god, she survived.

First Haircut

I don't know, did anyone see that my hair looked like a bird's nest caught in a tornado. Were people just being polite? Well, low and be-hold, today I got my first haircut. I still have curly hair but all the split ends are gone and I have a sassy summer cut for spring break.

Daddy: I've cut Emma's hair a couple of times, but the daddy snip-it in the living room hair salon is not a glamor destination. Cozy's is the name of the hair cutting place on Columbus Avenue, which features Dora on DVD, giant giraffes and colorful blow-driers.

Spring is Here (Sort of)

Passover, Easter and the G-20 Summit are some of the signs of spring. I am ready to start gymnastics, biking and planting a garden.

Daddy: Going to the play ground yesterday, seeing all the babies and mommies and daddies with their stollers and nanny mafiosa groups, let me know all is falling into place on the upper west side playground scene.

Change Seasons Please

It's a hard knock life for me.

One day it's sunny and 83 degrees and the next it's 26 degrees and I'm out running errands.

Daddy: Going to Club Med Punta Cana upsets the natural order of things. I wonder, is it good to toughen Emma up, running all our errands in the snow, or should we stay in Punta Cana?

Purim Carnival at the JCC

Here I am with my good friend Idan. He likes to kiss my shoulder. Adina, aka Mommy, took me to the Purim carnival. It was so fun. All the booths gave stickers as prizes. My dad made me a magic wand (see picture with Mommy below.)

Daddy: It feels Emma's cuteness knows no bounds. She apparently played every game at the JCC Purim fest, for they all promised the reward of a sticker. Anything for a sticker!