cute and powerful

Maddy Ballet

2012-02-10T08:06:00.001-08:00

Maddy: Dancing. Click.
Bending. Click.
Smiling. Click.
It was fun having Aunt Julie take pictures of me and just me!
I love the click click sound. Aunt Julie travels all around the world taking pictures but she has never seen anything as fantastic as Maddy Ballet.

Daddy: Maddy is coming out of her shell more and more. Almost 4.
Julie took some great photos in the dark basement ballet space. I got special for Julie to take pictures at this class. Julie just get right in there with the kids, rolling around, bending, moving fast. It was fun to see her taking pictures of the proud Maddy.

Hodge Podge of Thoughts/Let's go 2012!`

2012-01-30T14:45:00.001-08:00

Is Tomorrow February? Yes! A lot is going on in 2012 but I just want to take a moment to recap the end of the year. Yes, I went to the Macy's Day Parade. I was up at 5:15 for the first time in my life. I even made a miniature float at a workshop at the Children's Museum, with designers of the real floats. What else?
I lost my first tooth at the Jet Blue terminal at JFK. I'm not sure where. Maybe at security when I took my shoes off and was x-rayed. The tooth fairy was super nice. Even though I lost my tooth at Jet Blue she left me five dollars and a really nice note.

I also met the half way point at Step's ballet. It was very strict and grown up. Martha makes us put our hair up in a tight bun.

Daddy: Looking back on 2011, the biggest even has to be surviving the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. We'd bought, or really, my wife, bought tickets at a school auction. I could have written a mean spirited letter to Bank Street for allowing school auctions, which are really akin to putting craps table in the front lobby. Yes, we won the auction, but now we had to wake up at 5:15, get our 3 and 6 year old to a cold bleacher at 6:15 AM, to wait for a 9 AM start time. I am reliving all of my fears right now, rather than the fact that I did it! I survived the parade, and despite a little crying, and a lost DSI pen, (I was one of the smart dads who brought activities to the parade!) I haven't written or thought about the parade in a while. I better take a moment to integrate, be grateful and get ready for 2012.

Oh, you can see a Christmas picture. My sister Julie held a photo shoot for the girls. The pictures came out great. Emma picked out the dresses.

Mohonk Mountain House

2011-11-18T19:45:00.000-08:00

It was such an old hotel room there was no TV in the rooms. Yet, there was an indoor pool. Go figure! There were long stair cases and old stairs I could run down. The cafeteria was a mad house, with all you can eat ice cream, and all you can eat M n M toppings. There were spooky fireplace and the board game concentration. A strange man did a magic show, blowing up white balloons for the kids who I picked to volunteer. He didn't pick me, so I didn't get a balloon. I had a rocking chair on my fifth floor balcony. My dad wouldn't let me rock to much because he was scared I'd some how fall out and go over the railing into the lake. My mom, dad, me and Maddy all sleept in the same room but I had my own bed. Even though there was so much food I mostly snacked on Granola bars my dad bought at the Shop Rite on the way up. I'm serious. I endorse the Mohonk Mountain House.

Daddy: "If you cut off your left hand, your right is what you have left."
That was what I learned from the Magician at the Mohonk Mountain House. Instead of watching television you get to see a live magician. "I picked up this book on levitation. I couldn't put it down."
There was one moment I want to remember. I was walking out of the cafeteria with my lovely Emma and Maddy and they burst out into this song, "We walk behind Da-ddy. We walk behind Da-ddy." It was a catchy song and I started to sing-a-long.

Local commerce supports young childrens' need for sugar

2011-11-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

Emma: Trick or Treating is a wild adrenaline rush that knows no boundaries.

Maddy: New York City is fast, friendly and unforgiving. So, no matter how tall you are you have to get your candy bucket up in the air and demand to be seen. Your attitude has to be, "I may be 3, but acknowledging my power is the smart thing to do."

Daddy: In a haze, my brave children approached our local merchants and saw which ones were pro youth, and which were pro corporate greed. Citibank, Chipotle, 5 Guys and the Vitaminne Shoppe had no candy for kids. The local shoe repair shop did. The kids sugar rush peaked, spinning around, yelling "Sugar, sugar, sugar."

Tennis Dad

2011-10-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

My dad really wants me to play tennis. I mean, I really like tennis. I'm serious. I like hitting the ball and I am ready to play points on a real court. My dad keeps repeating the same thing over and over again. "Bring the racket, down and low. Bring it back, turn, down and low. Follow through to the shoulder."
You don't have to repeat everything. I tell him. Sometimes it seems like his head is going to explode, which is also fun.

Daddy: Now I have a taste of what Richard Williams and Peter Graf went through. I want my girls to climb to the top of the tennis world, and this desire came on so suddenly. Since I couldn't be a great champion it would be awesome if my girls were great champions. I can teach them. I can. I can guide them.

Yes. I need to relax. In deed. Maddy was on the court for the first time. They don't have to be champions. They just have to have fun and maybe one day play with silly dad on the courts. But if they want me to be a tennis dad, I am willing to go there. Oh boy.

Also, Emma has her first catch phrase. She likes to say, "I'm serious." She says it after obvious statements, like, "I like Pink Berry. I'm serious." Today Maddy said, "Serious dude." It's unsettling, but I am not going to squash her catch phrase. Not now.

Rainbow wand with a heart

2011-10-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Maddy: We went to the street fair. I jumped in bouncy house, fun. Went down the big slide, scary. We got Dunkin munchkins and balloons. I even drew on the balloons with markers when we got home.

Daddy: Props the balloon guys. He made exactly what Maddy asked for, "A rainbow wand with a heart." I even got it back to the apartment on the 1 train without popping the rainbow.

Disney Disney Disney

2011-09-03T07:19:00.001-07:00

I went to Disneyland! I had lunch with all the Princesses: Ariel, Bell, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Cinderella. They all came over and chatted with me about school, goals and dreams. Sleeping Beauty encouraged me to sleep as much as I possibly can while still getting good grades. I told her at my school they don't have grades and she said, "Even better. More sleep." Snow White told me to be friends with all kinds of people at school: Sneezy, Sleepy, Dopey, Happy, Bashful and even Doctors!

Snow White said I was doing a great job raising two little perfect princesses. I lightly tipped my tiara and gave Snow a smile. My wife shot me an angry glare but all was forgiven.

What happens in Disney stays in Disney.

Painting with no hesitation, no fear, no doubt

2011-08-14T20:03:00.001-07:00

A show: the set, the stage, the dancing, the songs. You have to make everything and then you have a show. It was rainy today, so I went to my father's studio and made this painting for my show. It's a giant heart that is growing out of the ground. Maddy painted some pink unicorns, which was OK.

Daddy: Emma attacked the paper like a young Jackson Pollack. It was humbling. I am going to paint without my shirt on from now on. Lesson learned.

Baby Bakers

2011-08-11T05:30:00.000-07:00

Emma: I wanted cupcakes and cake so I told my baby sitter Sharda, "Let's bake some cupcakes." We went shopping for ingredients. We alraady had Vanilla Exact. We found frosting the was already made and sprinkles. I am a great baker. It's not even hard.

Daddy: Those darn cupcakes are so delicious. And the cake, that darn cake is like a lake of goodness I just want to suck up.
No! eating your kids cake is like any other cake, filled with calories that make you chubby. It's not fair. There should be some free, your kids made it, no calories foods.

Percy

2011-07-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

Grand Ma Annie got a new dog, PERCY He jumps and bites me. Grand Ma told me not to run away. "Just stand still and shoo him away. He's nine pounds." She said. At first I was scared of the crazy puppy but now I'm not. Puppies are fun! He's teething just the way I used to chew on toys when I was a baby.

Daddy: Hooray for Percy.

Roller Booggie time warp girl is 6

2011-06-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

I love roller skating. You can feel the music in your body, which is jiggling because you're on wheels!

Daddy: I've been putting off this day for so long: putting my little girl, the baby I raised for six years, putting her on 8 little wheels to roll wherever fate takes her. NO! But, she skated about like a strong Young Frankenstein and in the picture you can see her skating away from me. We were at Skate World, the last remaining roller rink in San Diego, Today we are having a Princess Party at Grand-Ma Renees house. Even Grand-Pa Charles will have some Princess cake.

Last Day of Kindergarten

2011-06-08T06:22:00.001-07:00

Emma was the Mayor of Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz

Flag Pole day was a frenzied class dance, in the gym because of rain

What a year! I made new friends, learned how to read and can cross the monkey bars. I'd like the thank my parents for making the effort to wake up in the morning, get me dressed and make me lunch! It's already super hot, so I am looking forward to my Birthday, summer camp and swimming. Hooray!

Daddy: I give myself a C plus as a up and coming class parent. I got up, woke Emma up, no TV in the morning. Areas to improve: I would just give a bowl of plain cereal without milk for breakfast. At first she was a little late for school but on the last day she was the first one there! I rose to the challenge. Next years goal, be one of the popular parents.

Running across Route 4

2011-04-14T06:15:00.000-07:00

Emma: We took the 171 bus up Route 4. That's a highway with gas stations and stores, grease and grime. It's a lot of fun. We were left on the side of the road and my dad showed me this special bridge just for people. If you tried to drive your car over it wouldn't fit and your car would get stuck. If you want to cross over by car you have to find a place to make a U-turn! Drive over a car bridge.
I saw all the cars from all the world racing back and forth.We, my sister and I, ran to the outlet center and believe or not we discovered a Disney store!

Dad: It was an awesome day for all. I love walking over the highway. It gives me a feeling of wisdom and freedom and omniscient power. I wanted my girls to experience that.

I am a big believer in Juicing

2011-04-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is Madeleine Sofia Dermansky. Call me Maddy. To start off my day I like a nice glass of vegetable juice. Don't you? The key to juicing is pushing raw vegetables into the machine. So get up and do it.

Daddy: Some mornings I don't want to get out of bed, much less juice. But Maddy demands action and I respond. Soon she'll be three and will demand to move out of her crib into a bed. Adina fears she will jump out of bed and start organization projects in the middle of the night. I say, if she wants to organize our house, let her.

Spring Sprung Homespun

2011-03-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

Here I am in sunny San Diego for Grand-ma Renee and Grand-pa Charles' 50th Wedding Anniversary Party. There was a Rabbi and a Mariachi band and chocolate strawberries and Fajitas. When I get married I want a Mariachi band to follow me around for my entire honeymoon. That way when I want to dance I'll have a band ready to go!

I am ready for spring. I've been super busy! I bought a Scholastic Children's Dictionary. It's a giant book but I only paid a dollar because it was a used book sale.

Michael: I agree with everything Emma says. The other day she started up the computer and clicked on the date program to check the date. I didn't teach her how to do either of those computer steps. She picked out a dictionary and today looked up the words, VINE, FISH and THE. Plus she is recommending vacation locations. Soon she'll be 6 and be ready to take over the Blog completely.

COMING SOON: MADDY SOFIA DERMANSKY WILL GET SOME BLOG ENTRIES OF HER OWN!

Rockefeller Tree

2010-12-17T06:18:00.000-08:00

I went to American Girl, a three floor store on Fifth Avenue which only houses dolls. I bought a doll named Elizabeth. Maddy got a baby. Mommy took me through the store. Daddy walked out of the store and appeared when it was time to go to the tree. I was getting tired so he took me to Ben and Jerry's, which was in an underground mall, under Rockefeller Center.

Here is Adina with the girls at American Girl. It has been a great holiday season. Maybe we've had enough memories for 2010 and Christmas should be celebrated on the 18th. In my mind it is on the 18th, and that is that. Wishing you all a merry merry, tomorrow, the 18th.

Chanukah Dreidel: Spin, Spin, Spin

2010-12-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

Wow! This year Chanukah was on December 1st, way before Christmas. Being Jewish is all about being completely unpredictable. My dad told me some days I may get two presents, others 4, some one and some none. "You just don't know what's going to happen," he said. Well, today was the last day. Things I got: a pipe cleaner vase kit, Cinderella book, a journal, stamp blocks, cool building blocks (from Grandma), Leapster (I picked out at Toys R Us!) and weird doo-dads and a lot of chocolate money I already ate.

Daddy: After eight days I really needed to nap. Her teachers, so she said, told her on the eighth night you get your really big present. I didn't know about that tradition. Ugh, I thought. What is considered really big. Fortunately, Emma forgot about the really big present idea, and was happy to go with the "anything goes" Chanukah format.

Who Blows Up the Balloons?

2010-11-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

Who blows up these balloons. I can blow up a little balloon, but not a giant Kermit the Frog. One day I'd like to have a blow up apartment. I'll just get someone to blow it up and I'll live in it. I could hop around in my bouncy castle.

Daddy: Anything is possible, maybe the hip families of New York will live in bouncy castles. Maybe the hippest ones already do. Going to see the balloon get blown up is challenging. Thousands of people get funneled into a fenced in side walk, around the Museum of Natural History. The kids can see nothing, so I had Emma on my shoulders for over a half an hour. All the dads did it and now we're all seeking out a chiropractor.

Halloween

2010-11-20T05:53:00.000-08:00

"CANDY, CANDY, CANDY!"

I over heard Emma explaining to Maddy, "It is the greatest day ever. You walk around getting CANDY and then you eat it." Maddy ate some after every door. At bed time she was chanting, "CANDY, CANDY, CANDY."

Sister Julie took these fantastic photos.

Halloween is comin', life in a box and I made homemade Playdoh!

2010-11-08T15:38:00.000-08:00

Pre Halloween festivities at Weekday's school parade.

Look Mom, I made it: Homemade Playdoh!

There is a lot you can do in a box!

I've had these homemade Playdoh instructions since pre pre K, or the TWOS. But, YES, we got all the ingredients, flour, color dye, salt, Cream Or Tartar and we made pink and yellow playdoh! You can even eat it.

Daddy: I was intimidated, buying ingrediants such salt and Cream Of Tartar, but, with Emma's help, I was able to make homemade Playdoh, which is soft and edible.

Field Trip to Red Heart (Red Hook)

2010-10-20T18:10:00.001-07:00

Lunch on a grey tarp on a windy field.

Emma had a partner, Alex N., on the bus ride.

The magical pumpkin patch in Red Hook. The kids called it "Red Heart." It's a tough part of Brooklyn, where hipsters become farmers and grow organic greens on baseball fields.

I was excited to go to Red Heart. I'm ready to go anywhere. The big news is my dad came with me. He was one of the parents on the bus with me. It was so fun to have him. He had a special list with all the kids name on it. He let me hold it. Plus he saved my lunch for me. They always want you to eat it, right away, but I like to eat at my own pace. You don't rush worms to eat their lunch. You know worms eat coconut shells, orange peels and licorice and make it into fertile soil. I learned that at the community garden in Brooklyn that was right in front of a blue store called Ikea.

Daddy: I went on my first field trip. The school bus has a speakers along the sides of the ceiling playing pop music. The kids danced for one song and then just talked over it. One thing about being on a bus with kids, if you put your hands on the top of the seat in front of you, the kids in that seat will hit your hands. My hands were hit a lot. It was tiring and my hands were red but I was proud to be the dad of Emma on the bus.

Princess Dress Up Party

2010-09-27T15:40:00.001-07:00

Me with Princess Oona, who is 5 like me

Briefed on how to be a princess, for real

The magical table

I didn't pose for the photos when they asked me to, so my dad took this picture. Now he must to put it in the party frame.

MnM's in glass shoes, butterfly wings, make-up, nail polish and shiny gowns are all just part of being a princess. It was super fun. I don't know why people want to give Snow White a poisonous apple or kidnap Snow White. What do people have against princesses. We're all super nice. The party was fun and you can see from the pictures, there were no boys. Maybe if boys had princess parties instead of paintball, or whatever they do, our society and world would finally go towards peace. Just a thought.

Daddy: Alan, the dad of Princess Oona, who was the birthday girl and I were the only men at the big event. I think Emma is right. Princess parties are the way to go. For my 47th birthday I am having a princess party, with gatorade, tennis and men in pink.

Summing up Summer

2010-09-12T18:36:00.001-07:00

The Red Wood Trees go up and up and up!

Cousin Sara pulls me up a hill to a pool.

Coney Island: I went on a roller coaster, ate a Nathan's hot dog bun (I'm not a vegetarian but don't eat meat, except for Chicken Nuggets, and is that really meat?)

Arthur Ashe Kids Day, a passionate mob of youngsters hitting a yellow ball with a racket, no technique, just pure rage!

I went to San Francisco to see my cousins. Rachel, who is 13, had her Bat Mitzvah. She read from the Torah, a religious scroll. I didn't see it because I was playing in a sandy play ground because they don't like kids to talk during a ceremony with the Torah. It was Maddy's' fault. She kept saying, "My seat. My seat. My seat." Truthfully, it was boring, and I was happy to go outside.
Rachel was super cool and friendly and nice. She showed me how to do a head-stand and swim under water and she was awesome. She even does Facebook. San Francisco was much colder than NY. Manhattan was like a tropical swamp, without the water or coconut trees. Anyway I'm starting Kindergarten tomorrow so even if it is 95 degrees the season has changed (I hope it's not 95 degrees.)

Daddy: My wife wanted to go to Sesame Place to cap off the summer. I fell to my knees and said, "Please, sweetie, can we go next summer." She got mad until she saw I was crying. Summer is not easy.

Let go of my Lego

2010-09-04T18:29:00.001-07:00

There's a picture of what looks like the Daytona 500. All isn't what it seems. If you look closely, all of the fans in the Florida heat are made of Lego. It seems anything you see in life can be duplicated out of little pieces of Lego. I wonder if their is a person on this earth who looks just like me but she's made of Lego.

Daddy: I've been reading a lot of Tripadvisor reviews. They are frightening. All of the warnings and criticisms of the great sights across America. But, you know, the truth is frightening. At the Legoland rides there are markings that say, "the wait is one hour from this point." It is not easy to occupy a 5 year old for an hour on light. All the songs and stories and times I say, "It's only five more minutes," feels like a long day's journey into Lego.

In this ride you pull your body weight up to the top of the rope, looking over the lake filled with Lego wildlife. See daddy lifting Emma to the top. Emma said, "Kids help pull, but Daddy did most of it."

Just Because I Love You Day

2010-08-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

I declare today to be Just Because I Love You Day.

Daddy: It feels like the humid summer is coming to an end, which feels great, especially now that it's Just Because I Love You Day.

The family recently returned from San Francisco and San Diego, where we say cousins and grand parents and Tina. We'll recap the trevails of air travel and new ways for a meltdown over the next week.

Victoria Gardens

2010-07-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

What do they grow at Victoria Gardens? Roller Coasters! That's why it's my favorite garden.

Daddy: Emma is 5. Her B-day is the event of the universe!

Well, maybe just to me. I was not able to meet the 15 kid minimum. My invitations don't carry the same wait as say Seinfeld. I invited every kid in her class, and all the kids we play with and then kids from past classes! Everyone claimed to have other plans such as their own birthday party (which was on the same day) or they are attending another party they were invited to first or they had to do their laundry.
I had to pay for a party with 15 kids when there were only eight. Victoria Gardens gave my bruised ego an extra kick in the gut.

It was a super fun party for Emma, and it is actually easier to have 6 kids and their parents than 15. Every kids party is a chance to learn and grow. What is my lesson? I am ready to commit to a 12 step program.

Rocking Horse Ranch

2010-06-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

Riding Ponies, water slides, bungee jumpin', fireworks, disco dancin', ice cream at every lunch and dinner (Next year they should have ice cream at breakfast. Daddy said I can e-mail mangagement.) Rocking Horse Ranch rules!

Daddy: Imagine a world of horses, western music, rocking horses, families with kids you've never met surrounding you 24/7. The rooms are creaky, you hear the people above and next to you, but it doesn't matter because you only children are so hyped up that they don't fall asleep until 1 AM. I took Emma and Maddy to the front desk at 1 AM and told them, "Please, please help me." The girl at the desk laughed. She thought it was really cute.

As a 46 year old dad, if I was writing for Tripadvisor, I'd point out, that though it may be cute to have all the dining room furniture made of sticks, grown men need back support. For the love of God. The kids had an awesome time but I feel I need to put into a padded room, debriefed, have my back messaged by twenty midgets and slowly be allowed back into adult life.

Jamaica

2010-04-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

I almost forgot, I went to Jamaica. People said things like "Ya Man." When they said "Man," it was with a really slow and deep ah sound. I got to go into the Lazy River and the ocean. It was great to travel to a new island.

Daddy: Ya Man, I have returned from Jamaica and I have the Jamaican beads to prove it.

The Weather

2010-03-26T18:51:00.001-07:00

At night I post the weather. It is important to know if it is cloudy, partly cloudy, windy, blustery, rainy. That's why I post the weather in my living room.

Daddy: It is hard to sea the clouds at night, but Emma needs to know. She is precise. We're off to Jamaica. The weather, when on vacation, reveals its extreme importance. I am extremely scared of bad weather. I made the mistake of checking the weather on my iPhone and it says: Partly rainy. Please no!

Sisters in matching pajamas (with attitude which says, 'Dad, one day we won't put up with this')

Big Girl Bed

2010-03-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

My dad and I picked out the bed on the internet-(US Mattress had the best price but my dad had to set it up). It arrived 26 days later. I picked out the heart sheets at Bed Bath and Beyond. I love being out of my low to the ground toddler bed, up in the air, now, where I belong, stretching my feet out with all the extra room! Hooray! HOOORAY!!!

Share the Joy, even baby sister Madeleine was estatic with the furniture's arrival. Dad: Emma counted out the days on a calender until the bed arrived. On the Wednesday the bed was due she ran into the bedroom at 7 AM and said, "Daddy, zero more days until the bed arrives." My greatest fear was the day of it's arrival. The shipping firm warned me they would just drop the bed unassembled on the curbside and it weighed 160 pounds.
Woa, how would the bed get up the four steps, through the double doors, into our third floor apartment. I'd need an Angel!
Emma's desire was so strong that an angel appeared: Angel, the super. He actually answered his phone and came over to help assemble the bed (I guess now he'll get his wings.). It takes up half her room but I don't think I've ever scene anyone so happy. The big girl bed is set up! HOORAY!

Elmo Grows Up (at last!)

2010-02-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

Elmo wants to be a fire fighter, a cowboy, a cop! Apparently he's not interested in mathematics or literature. He's funny, he's floppy but he still has a lot of growing to do.

Daddy: Emma was un-phased by the throngs of crazed Madison Square Garden Elmo groupies. I found them a little nerve wracking. Elmo Grows Up, it helped me to realize, I'd better pick a carear, asap!

Mittens, Fur and is it Spring Time yet

2010-02-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

I received this lovely brown coat in the mail. Don't I look stylish. Grand-Ma Renee sent it. Maddy has two little mittens that are tied together. It seems like she might trip on them, which I feel is not the best mitten design, and yet these are the mittens the Maddy likes. It feels like it's been cold for a long time. I'm ready for spring.

Yes, Grand Ma Renee sent this posh coat, something Posh Spice would wear. It is difficult to button. It would be nice not having to put on two layers, mittens, scarfs, along with sippy cups. Maybe I could tie the coats mittens, scarfs and sippy cups together so I'd never lose anything.

'giving

2009-11-30T08:15:00.001-08:00

I've been so busy lately I haven't had time to write down my thoughts. It was 'giving week, with Turkey (didn't eat!), chocolate cake (ate the ice cream) and giant piles of leaves (climbed through 10 piles!).
I've been going on play dates at different schools (Bank Street, Fieldston, Manhattan Country Day), and taking IQ tests. I got "Very Impressive Work, 98th percentile."
It's silly. I don't need tests to let me know how brilliant I am.

I know the tests are silly and meaningless, but wonder where did Emma get all this so called intelligence from!
At the Bank Street interview they said they don't accept the scores. This made me a little mad. "Even if they get 98 percent!" I said.
Let my comment be stricken from the record.

Getting Candy in New York

2009-10-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

Pumpkins, doormen, shoe stores, dry cleaners, grime, slime and crime; that's what Halloween in New York is all about. There was an article in the Times, or so I overheard at Henry's mom and dad's house (Vanessa and Brian Ward), that candy does not in fact give kids a sugar rush; any more than a bowl of carrots. Yes! Stop denying us kids what we really want: candy for lunch, dinner and brunch.

Daddy: Emma sampled MnMs and other treats going door to door in our apartment complex and along Broadway. Maddy ate through a tootsie roll wrapper, walked and crawled on side walkds, punch drunk with scuffed and grimy knees.
I like how Super Girl sits down for pasta in her high chair, like a cop who just finished her beat.

Hello Kitty Photographer

2009-10-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

While my mom was traveling in Colorado I took photos for her of our life in New York. Here you can see Daddy with Maddy in front of our building and my school. The great thing about photography is telling people where to stand, how to act and when to smile.

Daddy: Emma took great care taking her "Hello Kitty" photos with her disposable camera. The camera used real film that had to be sent out to be developed, so Emma only got 20 shots, not an unlimited amount. The hello kitty back round was somehow imposed on the film of the disposable camera, a merging of past and future technologies.

How long until I'm 45

2009-10-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't wear a diaper last night! I don't need any more diapers. Also, something else I want to know about, my dad is 45 and I wonder when I'll be 45? When I'm 45 how old will my dad be?

Yes, I am 45 going on 86. Emma is on her slow journey to becoming 45. She also wants to know when she'll be as tall as me.
"Next week," I say.
Now I will take a moment to reflect and rejoice: no more diapers. I thought the day would never come and here it is. After so many packages of diapers and wipes, strapping and unstrapping, this triumphant day quietly blends in.
The picture of Emma in Starbucks was taken by Swedish babysitter Malin on a road trip to Sacramento: Taking a moment to reflect on the growing baby.

Book Fair Un-fair

2009-10-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

Last year they had felt letters to glue on bags. This year they tossed out pamphlets, filled some cups with crayons and said draw. That is how our down sizing economy deals with children, a bunch of plastic cups with crayons. Come on, don't you know we are the future!

Last years book fair, the sky was cloudy and over cast. This year it was blue and sunny, mercilessly hot for an October Sunday. I went back to the Columbia book fair, sponsored by Target and the New York Times, as a seasoned dad of two. I've been to children's parties, school fairs, I'm visiting Kindergartens in Manhattan, I thrust Emma into over crowded activities without hesitation. I'm starting to feel like Tom Arnold in that movie where Hugh Grant is not into having kids but his girl friend is pregnant. I hate movies that are that bad but some how linger in your mind for years.

Catching

2009-09-29T05:49:00.001-07:00

I taught my friend Sky how to catch a large pink ball. You have to open your arms wide and close them when the ball is coming. She is three, so it was very difficult for her to figure it out. In fact, she got really mad when the ball bounced against her body. She is three so she doesn't see the big picture. When she's four she'll be able to close her arms at the right time and catch it, just like me!

Emma is such a fantastic teacher.

Don't try this at home

2009-09-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

There's nothing my dad can't do!

Daddy: The recession has hit home.
In an effort to save money I gave little Emma home cut.
I watched a YouTube video by a mom named Candy. She filmed herself cutting her son's hair outside her garage somewhere in New Jersey. She made it seems so easy.
Well, once I started cutting her wispy curls I realized it was like I was lost in a a spider web, using a machete to cut myself free.
"I'm a loving father," I thought, "This will turn out OK."
In the morning my wife screamed, "Somethings is wrong."

She was right. Hair was jetting out at impossible angles.
It's annoying spending adult prices for kids stuff all the time but it is part of being an American. For $35 they fixed her up at Cosy Cuts. I will never use my $40 hair sheers again (contact me if you're interested, they've only been used once.) Fortunately, Emma looks adorable, like a miniature Leslie Caron. When I told my wife it would take "just a year" for it to grow back in, she was not pleased. The best new is four year old Emma could care less, as long as she has her mommy and daddy and a pink lolly pop.

UPS Kids

2009-09-16T19:47:00.001-07:00

I asked my mom, "Is this UPS kids?" She said it was for adults, but she was wrong. The UPS employees let me mail her letter and organize the packages. They have fun pens and paper and I gave Maddy my milk. I love UPS Kids.

Emma always wants everything to have a kids version. She single handedly converted the UPS store on 115th street into UPS Kids. Fortunately it was near closing time, and the few people in the UPS store were so punchy they liked having the "purple flash" and her sister take over.

Baby Nina

2009-08-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

I have a new cousin. I am much bigger and older than Nina but already I can tell she likes me a lot. I jiggled her bouncy seat, showing her how to pull down on the lion and get him to roar. Well, really he played music.

Daddy: It's so exciting to see Emma relating with a baby Nina: Emma as an excited, mature 4 year old, ready to swaddle, burp and feed the milk.
As a side note, Marcy and Jurgen are doing a great job!

Back in New York for August

2009-08-16T16:09:00.000-07:00

It's hot, it's muggy, but there is fun to have at grand-ma's pool and at all the great deli's of New York City. I followed Jelvis, the Jewish Elvis singing at all the great delis on his deli tour.

I know Jelvis personally. He's more than just a grifter, he's a man willing to do anything for a hug and to make you smile. Emma saw his act at Barney Greengrass and Artie's deli, than went to Barnes and Noble for some Dora books. Beautiful pictures below taken by Ann Dermansky, AKA Grand-ma Annie.

West Coast. Let's find some gold!

2009-07-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

Drive, shop, eat ice cream.
In San Diego they have a commitment to making shopping fun (notice the car and ride carts we used at Albertson's and Target. They have Dora collectibles at the super markets!)
The plane ride was long, I mean L O N G! Now I know what they mean by frequent flyer miles. Well, not exactly.
Every day it's sunny, so I have gone to the beach which is fun.

Daddy: Yes, Emma got to go to her first bonafide Mall. We bought Dora and Gabba-Gabba underpants at Sears and a wrist watch at Nordstrom and Kenneth Cole dress sandals which she wears every day. Yes the plane ride is long and I do know what Frequent Flyer means. Ughhh!

iPhone madness

2009-07-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

Daddy got an iPhone. He seems so happy, following me around with his little rectangle.

Yes Yes Yes
I have the cherished rectangle. This is the first iPhone blog entry. It seems tricky uploading photos. Help!

Big Big Party at Victorian Gardens

2009-06-29T17:56:00.000-07:00

Rides are fun, but I'm against hi-speed spinning, swinging or 180 degree upside-down flips. It was a sunny June day and I blew out all the candles, in only three tries. I won a stuffed taxi, who wants to be friends with all the speeding cabs on the streets of Manhattan. I had SO much fun.

The emotions I felt at throwing the toddler party event of the season, rushed in on me like a hurricane, pulling me apart. Anxious, terrified, ashamed, grateful to be alive; I felt them all. I am so happy it is over, grateful there was no rain, injury and a good time had by all (maybe a few parents experienced torment.)

Four Four Four Four

2009-06-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

I'm 4. I got a yellow bike, a blue scooter and a book about a run away dinner. All I want to do is ride my bike, scoot and see my vegetables run away. Notice the "Hello Kitty" party blowers. I picked them out.

When Emma said she just wants to ride and scoot, she meant it literally. She wouldn't go to camp until she rode her bike a little bit. She's definitely exerting herself as she grows up.
She did pick out the "Hello Kitty" party plates, cups, napkins and blowers.

Father's Day

2009-06-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

My father is something special. I made him a king's crown and suddenly he sat up like a king and demanded all children bow down and listen to King Michael! I just like him to be my dad.

This father's day celebration, a crafts and story party held at the Morningside branch of the New York public library, complete with juice boxes and zip lock bags with gold fish crackers, was attended by two fathers: me and one other father, (who you can see behind me with his eyes closed.) The librarian sang the BINGO song, replacing the word B I N G O with D A D D Y. There is a man who cares for me and Daddy is his name-O!

School is Out

2009-06-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, I finished! What a busy year. Weekday took us on a field trip to see Peter Pan, the marionette horror show. It was weeks ago but I've blocked it from my thoughts. Everyone was supposed to clap or else. It was terrifying. I started crying. Mommy, who was a chaperon, picked me up, carried me out and kissed me. Ms. Holden (my teacher, you can see her picture with Ms. Cox above) told me it was only make believe, but I still didn't like the pirates and the mean people.

Also, I learned how to play cello and violin this year, with Ellen Silver. There was an "I like Chocolate Ice Cream" Party. Wow, do so much, it's tiring just thinking about it, and, my birthday is eight days away!

I used to be terrified of the green witch in the Wizard of Oz. Emma some days seems so grown up but its good to be reminded, she's three going on four.

Photo Shoot in Riverside Park

2009-06-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

Here are the actual pictures from Aunt Julie's photo shoot. I had fun and look fantastic.

Yes, Emma looks great. Hooray for Julie. See her fantastic stuff.

Yellow Dress

2009-06-09T10:40:00.001-07:00

It's fun to wear a dress on Saturday morning. I feel a special heightened sense of being beautiful.

Daddy: When Emma heard aunt Julie was coming over she said, "I want to wear a dress." Julie is famous for taking pictures of the girls, when she's not in Iraq. This picture is one I took, after the photo shoot, before nap.

Will You Eat or Be Eaten?

2009-05-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

It's a "dog eat dog" kind of world. At least that's what I learned at the Central Park Zoo. It closes at 5 PM sharp. At 4:52 a young man in a jump suit grabs the bunny and puts it in another house. at 4:52 you can see that everyone who works there just wants to go home, including the bunny.

Daddy: Emma is climbing in spider webs, eating ice cream cones and coming at life with full abandon!

Air Hockey

2009-05-20T18:19:00.000-07:00

This was a swinging uptown party, with foose-ball, ice cream, air hockey, cup cakes. I love birthdays. Mine is coming soon. June, June, June.

Daddy: To survive multiple children's parties you have to enjoy cupcakes, pizza and chaos. I guess that's why I'm good at it. I think black and white cookies would be a welcome alternative to cup cakes. Just an idea.

Emma and Maddy are getting along great. Maddy was the youngest kid at the party. Aside from eating tiny figurines, she had a great time. Well, she probably enjoyed eating the tiny figurines.

Bowlmor

2009-05-11T03:02:00.001-07:00

Bowling is fun. I like the scorers table and the heavy, heavy balls. I'd like to have my own heavy ball for my apartment.

Daddy: Birthday party chaperon to Bowlmor lanes in the East Village: There was pulsating top ten music (I'm guessing, was it was top 10?), giant video screens at the end of the lanes, neon dots lighting the alleys.
The visual overload made me long for the sad yellows, and quiet din of Bergenfield bowling, where you could really hear the balls with all the weight of a man's hopes slamming down upon the wooden floor.

These are "Horrific"

2009-04-24T04:38:00.001-07:00

These are the proofs for my school picture. Miss Holden handed them to my dad and he said, "These are horrific." My mom loved them and is going to order a package deal. Beautiful or Horrific? You decide.

Daddy: I was both shocked by the photos and by my visceral response. My wife says I take things way to seriously and this is the way school photos always are.
Why is Emma holding flowers? Is it a school photo or a kids beauty pageant? Why is there a white picket fence, isn't she going to school in the city? Miss Holden told me I wouldn't have to buy the pictures. I shook my head and sighed because she doesn't know Adina. There is no question that I'm going to buy these bizarro school photos.

Warm Weather = Madness

2009-04-23T04:19:00.000-07:00

My dad took me to Central park to meet a girl named Brianna for a play date. "Emma would you like to go on a special play date. We'll take the train to Central Park."
Sounded innocent enough.
Swarms of toddlers descended upon a concrete mountain. There was a latter in the middle of the mountain. Kids were climbing up and down the one latter at the same time. Not a pretty sight.

DADDY: It was terrifying watching Emma descend into the bee-hive of New York Toddlers. Boys were climbing over her tiny limbs, girls were pushing her to go faster. Emma slowly climbed up. As a 212 pound man, I couldn't fit into this toddler mountain. She was on her own. I thank god, she survived.

First Haircut

2009-04-15T18:18:00.001-07:00

I don't know, did anyone see that my hair looked like a bird's nest caught in a tornado. Were people just being polite? Well, low and be-hold, today I got my first haircut. I still have curly hair but all the split ends are gone and I have a sassy summer cut for spring break.

Daddy: I've cut Emma's hair a couple of times, but the daddy snip-it in the living room hair salon is not a glamor destination. Cozy's is the name of the hair cutting place on Columbus Avenue, which features Dora on DVD, giant giraffes and colorful blow-driers.

Spring is Here (Sort of)

2009-04-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

Passover, Easter and the G-20 Summit are some of the signs of spring. I am ready to start gymnastics, biking and planting a garden.

Daddy: Going to the play ground yesterday, seeing all the babies and mommies and daddies with their stollers and nanny mafiosa groups, let me know all is falling into place on the upper west side playground scene.

Change Seasons Please

2009-03-15T07:32:00.001-07:00

It's a hard knock life for me.

One day it's sunny and 83 degrees and the next it's 26 degrees and I'm out running errands.

Daddy: Going to Club Med Punta Cana upsets the natural order of things. I wonder, is it good to toughen Emma up, running all our errands in the snow, or should we stay in Punta Cana?

Purim Carnival at the JCC

2009-03-09T18:49:00.001-07:00

Here I am with my good friend Idan. He likes to kiss my shoulder. Adina, aka Mommy, took me to the Purim carnival. It was so fun. All the booths gave stickers as prizes. My dad made me a magic wand (see picture with Mommy below.)

Daddy: It feels Emma's cuteness knows no bounds. She apparently played every game at the JCC Purim fest, for they all promised the reward of a sticker. Anything for a sticker!

Into the eye of the vacation

2009-02-19T12:41:00.001-08:00

Those are my dad's humungouso feet. (Humonguso is how you say big in Spanish) My parents lounge around like the French people while I ride bikes, play tennis and risk my life and Camp Kids. When do I get a vacation from being three and a half.

Daddy: Emma has been very active. My poor baby got a fever from over action in the tropics or the stomach flu? She's been resting all day. I'm keeping her near by. She's snoozing on my giant vacation bed right now.

Welcome to the Dominican Republic

2009-02-18T12:26:00.000-08:00

I love the Domigilit Repuglit! The people are funny and I get to eat Bananas and Ice cream all day long. You can see me on the patio with my Curious George cards. The heat gets to my parents so I make up my own games. I've been a princess in an interpretative theater show, played in water olympics and enjoyed deep sea diving and have three days left.

Daddy: Staying at the Punta Cana Club Med is like entering a cyber reality: what would life be like if you didn't have to shop, cook, clean or use any mode of transportation? Yes, thumbs up to the Domigilit Repuglit! The people at the kids camp are young and filled with energy in the high heat, qualities I need desperately!

a new added feature...

Mommy: Personally, I love the life here on our land cruise. It's like the Love Boat docked permanently in Punta Cana and everyone got married and had children. All that's missing is shuffleboard and Gopher. I am happy to be contained and pampered. The water is so beautiful, the food is muy bueno, and my feet can't stop doing the Merengue.

Reading with Marcy

2009-02-03T06:52:00.000-08:00

Marcy came over last night. I put on my furry red Elmo costume because she asked me about it. Is it possible Marcy wishes she were Elmo? Do all adults wish they were Elmo?
She is an awesome story reader and we made trains and I had a deeply rich chocolate cookie.
It's fun watching Emma and Madeleine listening to the Richard Scary counting book. I told Emma only three pages but she was so enthusiastic Marcy read and counted through the whole book.

Tu-tu Number 2: dance recital

2009-01-28T08:04:00.001-08:00

This was my second dance recital. I felt relaxed and free. It was really fun. I received a flower and after went to the Diner and got a box of Corn Flakes. I love the Dance.

I was not relaxed and free. I was on edge, springing with my SLR like a hawk to its prey; dodging the mommies with video cameras and tiny digital cameras. These mommies don't realize you need a telephoto zoom to get decent photos.
This was the only class the parents were allowed into. Yes, Emma goes to classes where she doesn't need me! This added to the excitement and the need for a powerful lens as this was my only chance.

Grand Pa sprightly on b-day

2009-01-25T11:00:00.000-08:00

We went to Henry's, a restaurant named after Henry. His son Jules is in my class. I wonder if he eats at the restaurant named for his dad or at his house and is the house named after his dad: Henry's House?
Restaurant rating: They had good muffins and comfortable high chairs and respectable potties. I'll give the restaurant a thumbs up on Menupages.

My dad looks great for 73. He's happy that we have Barack Obama in office!

Sequencing

2009-01-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

My quest to get into one of the top schools on the Upper West Side of the United States of America must involve organic shape sequencing. Day after day I prove myself. I do and will succeed!

Emma, who is here sequencing the Russian shells in Sue Gamrin's basement, has also been making chart's for NASA, top secret.

Yes Yes Yes

2009-01-06T20:02:00.000-08:00

As the year 2009 rolls in I say Yes. Yes to feeding the ducks, bicycles and truthful living.
I'm encouraging my sister, Madeleine, to start a blog of her own; call it Emma's Awesome Baby Sister: Insights from Heaven. We're sleeping in the same room now. It's fun having someone to tell jokes to at any hour of the night.

I say yes to Emma!

Snow and Jet Blue

2008-12-19T11:46:00.001-08:00

Well, we're off on Jet Blue tomorrow. It's snowing but we're all determined to make it to San Diego.

I'm a little bit nervous, have I been good this year, will Santa get me anything? The darn recession.

The Holidays are coming, Oh no!

2008-12-05T10:57:00.000-08:00

It is not easy being a model. Smile. Smile. And smile. After ten minutes I don't want to smile any more. After 15 minutes I don't want anyone to see my face. Now I know why super models demand big money.

My sister Julie ran an in-depth photo shoot of the girls, but I decided to take a couple extra, because parents are greedy. So these are the holiday photos that probably won't be on the card but are close to my heart.

Giant Balloons

2008-11-28T15:41:00.000-08:00

Sponge Bob, Dora, YES, YES, YES!
It was really fun seeing my heros come to life. Sponge Bob promised to clean all the buildings on 81st street and Dora was going to explore New Jersey for Thanksgiving. That's where I went for Turkey, though I only ate macaroni and broccoli.

It was fun watching Emma admire the balloons. She had a little melt down amidst the throngs of New Yorkers who come to see the balloons, demanding I provide her magically with Orange Juice. I in turn had a melt down, demanding a private viewing of the balloons and a sippy cup filled with Orange juice. We made it home with great Thanksgiving memories.

Punky Brewster

2008-11-26T10:15:00.000-08:00

This is an outfit Grand-ma Renee sent me. I put the tights on myself.

We were a little late for school because Emma insisted on putting the tights on herself. The thing on the back to tighten the skirt vanished into the opening for the pull thing, so I carried Emma from the bus, as the skirt was falling down. They fixed it at the office, fishing the stretch pull through the back with a pin.. The school director said, "That's the price of fashion."

Room 615

2008-11-20T18:26:00.000-08:00

School's been going great. I rode a tricycle, made a dot painting and had my blood pressure taken.

Room 615 has a blog. These are some pictures of Emma from Room 615.

Rainy Day Mommy

2008-11-15T19:13:00.001-08:00

It's rainy but that doesn't mean baby can't go out. I got baby some milk and pushed her stroller through the deepest puddles.

I'm not sure why Emma rolled the baby back and forth through the puddles. Maybe she wanted to toughen up the baby. Emma appears ready to be a mom.

Halloween is a family holiday

2008-11-06T19:06:00.001-08:00

The whole family went to the Halloween Parade at the Hippo Playground. All of the kids went crazy. They thought I was the real Elmo. They wanted to hug me and touch my red fur. I was a little panicked but my dad, the ditzy clown and toddler body guard kept me safe. I got to eat a Dunkin Donut and drink fresh apple cider and even carved a pumpkin.

We decided to have Emma eat all of her trick-or-treat candy for breakfast the next day. She was so hyper she wrote an opera on the school black board.

Born to rock

2008-10-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

Man, did you ever feel like you were born to rock!
My hands strum the magic strings and words channel through me. I wrote a song entitled, Marly the Cat. 'Marly is ready to sleep and she wants a family dog!' the song goes.
We no longer have a cat, because they like to attack kids, when kids grab their tails, but they're fun to write songs about.

I bought this pink guitar from a Mexican man wandering around the upper west side. Emma had spoken about wanting a guitar and when a man with a giant box of guitars wandered past me, strumming a miniature guitar right in front of Zabaars, I took action.
"Ten dollars Poppi" he said.
Sold American!

Halloween is coming

2008-10-25T14:43:00.001-07:00

Putting on the fuzzy reds of Elmo makes me feel like I can lift 200 cookies with my bare hands, though I can't feel my hands, as they are covered completely with fuzz.

People seemed aghast that we would dress our child like Elmo. "Don't induldge these children," I was told by a grump guy in Starbucks.
"It's Halloween," I said.
"Not for six days," he said, picked up his latte and stormed out.

Tub Seat

2008-10-08T17:22:00.001-07:00

Maddy is in the tub! Her seat was used by the astronauts who went to the moon and were scared of floating away into the galaxy.
All of my toys fit into the seat like a shopping cart. We both got squeaky clean and I showed her how to draw and make mosaics. I got an A+ as a big sister.

It was a stroke of genius getting the baby seat for the tub. I am in fact a baby wrangler extraordinaire.

Target sponsors Columbia Book Fair

2008-10-05T19:49:00.001-07:00

I made sticker bags, I ate a monster sized muffin, stood on daddy's shoulders, battled stilt people (people on stilts). Yes, there are no limitations at the Columbia book fair. Lisa Loeb showed up to talk about dating and tanning salons. Target had a book tent where I got 5 cools books. I support Target book day at Columbia.

I'm still in shock. Lisa Loeb sang an anthem about apples and bananas, broke down in tears and was carried off the stage by a giant Elmo. If I've learned anything, it's that children's entertainment is not easy.

Tash·likh

2008-10-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

My parents said, "Emma, we're going to throw bread into the Hudson river. Do you want to go?"
Yes!
It's called Tash·likh, which is one of the many things you do for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
Then they said each bread crumb represented a sin from the past year we were symbolic-ally dumping into the bottom of the river. You can see all the bread in the river. Jews up and down the west side were clogging up the Hudson River.
Daddy took a giant piece of bread and through it like a discus all the way to New Jersey. I wonder what his sins are.

I really didn't do anything full of sin this year. No late night partying in the West Village. I'm sure there's something bad, bad, bad I did, so I threw a giant piece of stale Challah all the way to New Jersey, to cover all bets.

Boogie-board Fever

2008-09-22T19:44:00.001-07:00

Imagine just standing up, not having to move your legs or knees and still getting around town. That is the genius of the Boogie-board. It's like surfing, and the stroller is the wave. I feel good.

The issues and debates hitting hard in the Dermansky home is weather or not our union needs/wants/deserves a double stroller. I am strongly anti-stroller, while my opponent, well, my wife, is pro double-stoller. I have won round one, as Emma rarely uses the stroller anyway, but there will be more on this issue to be hashed out, discovered and lobbyist are just getting involved.

Nursery School

2008-09-18T19:01:00.001-07:00

School is starting slowly. They're phasing us in, as though we were scared little babies. One hour a day, an hour and a half, now we're up to almost the full day. It's a fun school but I think they underestimate the student body. I think they could use our help on Wall Street.

Emma is doing very well on school. Her teacher has set up a class blog. In fact this picture is borrowed from the class 615 blog. She is ready to go as a student, painting, thinking and taking Nursery school by storm.

Sticker Baby

2008-09-12T19:14:00.000-07:00

I had an "aha" moment when I put my newest stickers on my little sister's nose.

Emma thinks Madeleine is her own personal sticker book.

Bronx Zoo

2008-09-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

I wanted to play with the Tiger. He was watching me, behind a giant glass, then stretched against a giant tree like a rubber band. Then he suddenly climbed up the tree. Everyone pressed against the glass looking in on the tiger gasped. Then security yelled at us all to get back behind the tigers paws. There were tiger paws painted paw prints on the floor.
"Please get back," this man said, "I don't want a disaster." He seemed a little fearful. The tiger seemed friendly to me.

I had some popcorn. I also had a giant pretzel and went potty. I also put some money in a machine that made a monkey sound as it inhaled a dollar bill.

Emma insisted on buying some popcorn, right before going to Tiger Hill. Maybe the tiger just wanted some popcorn. I am very happy to have left the zoo in one piece. No tigers claws imbedded in my body.
As a side note, they only had one size of popcorn. I asked them, as part of my new assert my concerns lifestyle, why they didn't have a children's size popcorn at the zoo, which is for children. The saleswoman didn't have an answer, just smiled, showing me they only provided her with the one size.
"How can a toddler eat that much?" I asked and got no answer.

All the parents leaving the zoo, deserve a fortune cookies with words of hope and thanks.

The New Computer

2008-08-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

The new computer auto-matically takes a family photo. All we have to do is huddle close to the computer and smile. We do this every day now!

I feel so new, as if I got a nose job and a new tie. Smushing my family together in front of the computers automatic camera, I am so happy I don't even need to say "Smile" before counting off the three seconds before the computer snaps our picture. Hooray!

Weebles Wobble

2008-08-25T18:33:00.000-07:00

Here is my sister Maddy tipping her self over.

Emma takes great joy in seeing sister Madeleine tip over.

Bye Bye Berkshires

2008-08-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

My daddy didn't get a picture of me being bitten by ground bees. Ground bees are bees that have hives in the ground. I started screaming because when you feel pain in your body unlike anything you've ever felt you scream.
But the bees couldn't ruin my vacation. The pain subsided and I watched Elmo's Birthday DVD and had a black and white cookies and ice cream for dinner.

Emma wanted to go potty at this potty which was for sale, 25 dollars at the Berkshire Theater Festival prop sale. Berkshire Theater Festival had a family day, free food, face painting and songs from Oliver.

Emma's first foray into face painting. She had a heart and a butterfly artfully rendered on her cheeks.

Jacob's pillow: Emma was transfixed as she watched a woman grow tree branches and move as if a soft wind were whisking through.

Chores

2008-08-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

The tough thing about life in the country is all the chores. I've been doing dishes, husking corn, putting laundry on a clothes line and husking corn!

Emma has been working hard. My back went out so she's been picking up the slack.

I've also been growing food from a garden and picking apples. Thank goodness I'm a vegetarian.

Greta Garbage

2008-08-11T04:46:00.001-07:00

Sometimes my parents take me to things that are a little painful. Greta Garbage lectured me and a little boy on the importance of recycling. We were the only two attending her puppet show at the Guthrie Center, a church dedicated to peace and understanding. It turned out Greta Garbage was in charge of the environmental educational division in Rochester and transformed her teachings into a puppet show. It was as if the presidential candidates were using sock puppets to speak their platforms at the debates.

I thought with a name like Greta Garbage how could you go wrong. She did point out to the two children at the show that it was their parents who had destroyed the earth and unfortunately it was beyond repair. My wife looked on in horror. When is the right time to expose Emma to the hard truths of todays world?
At the Greta Garbage show! The Guthre Center, a temple to peace, understanding, and the sixties, seemed like a place for lost souls, which for one morning, Michael the dad was one.

The Wishing Tree

2008-08-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

This is the wishing tree. There are so many things I wanted so I combined a bunch of them in one wish: I wished for a day with Thomas, Dora and Elmo. All of us would dance and eat cheese sticks on the top of a mountain under a giant rainbow. Mommy and Daddy would bring us golden Sippy cups.

I wished that the magic of life was available to all of us, and that we all rejoiced with glee. Of coarse, I wasn't able to think of that at the Berkshire Botanical gardens Wishing Tree. So I just wished for self buckling car seats. (You can read my wish if you look closely at the picture)

Tanglewood

2008-08-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

Listening to classical music is fun for thirty seconds. After that I like to play kickball or chase butterflies. It's funny, an old guy criticized my mom. He told her, "Some people come here to listen to the music." It seemed like he was hearing the music leading him to his life after death, but it didn't seem like that much fun.

I took Emma to go potty just as the concert let out. 25 old men streamed in to pee and wash their hands as Emma ran around, "No paper towels, me, I do it, I do it." The old men tried to go to sink as though she wasn't there but she held her ground. It was a Tangle at Tanglewood.

My sister Madeleine, rebounding from mosquito bites and a neck rash caused by her not having a neck yet.

A typical lunch scene at Frog Hollow (the name of the house where we are staying)

Professional Play Lady at the Stockbridge Public Library

2008-08-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

This woman named Jeannie said that she'd spent the morning with old people who were stuck to their walkers but she was trying to get them to play. She said that she made her living playing with people and was available for birthday parties or to play with adults as well. I think she's spent time in jail. I can tell by her arm tattoo and her fanatic pleas for attention.

Emma was a little scared of Jeannie the Professional Play Lady at first. Fortunately Emma has a big heart and is very accepting and giving. I've been taking her to libraries for reading hour in the Berkshire area and you never know what will happen.

Hiking

2008-08-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

I went hiking! Mommy and Maddy went down a different path and were swarmed by mosquitos. Maddy got four bites on her head. Mommy's entire neck was bright red. I wonder why there are no mosquitos in New York, or are they much friendlier in New York. I picked wild flowers for my mommy even before I knew of her extreme trauma. Daddy was just impressed that she pushed the stroller over a patch of giant rocks.
I also went to the library!

Being in the wilderness brings parenting to a whole new level.

Rainbow Day

2008-08-03T19:05:00.001-07:00

I'm on my vacation. It's kind of stormy and rainy in Great Barrington. My dad think's it's wierd that a town would call itself "Great" in the name of the town. He said, "Englewood is not called 'Great Englewood." I asked him to start calling me "Great Emma," which he has yet to do.
I saw my first rainbow. My parents were driving me to a playground and started yelling, "Rainbow, rainbow!" I implored them to let me see, as I was in my car seat. My dad pulled over, and sure enough there it was, curving over a motel and the motel playground. Adina, my mommy, walked me over and it was the beginning of a great vacation.

I'm so glad Emma got to actually see the rainbow. "Look," I said, "that is a rainbow." Yes, there is incredible beauty and I pulled into a motel parking lot and it paid big dividends.

The Same Dress

2008-07-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

I put on red and white flower dress Grand-ma Ne (short for Renee) got me. She bought the same as my sister Madeleine.
Coincidence?
My mom started crying and my dad ran to get his camera and the New York humidity cleared like liquid ice when we sported the matching dresses on on an ordinary Tuesday morning. Why does everyone so desperately want to see us in the same outfit?

It was really exciting to see Emma and Maddy in the same outfit. When I say really exciting, I mean overwhelmingly, as if there was a total eclipse of the sun caused by the moons of Saturn. Sometimes something can be so cute it is hard for the receiver of the cuteness to breathe.

The Children's Museum

2008-07-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed seeing the actual bedroom where Dora sleeps and thinks up her adventures. She had a photo album documenting all of her travels. Her talking back pack told me Dora drinks a Red Bull every morning to keep her energy up. When I grow up I'm going to be a bilingual explorer like Dora.

Imagine if your name was Dora and you just felt like being by yourself. Would you change your name?
Maybe I'm a tad grumpy, but I don't understand why it's called "the Children's Museum." The kids play with bongos and plastic fruit. When they grow up they'll think museums are places to run around and sing songs such as, "We did it. We did it. We did it!"

Swim class

2008-07-22T19:24:00.000-07:00

Imagine if instead of taking the bus or train or taxis, everyone just swam everywhere. That's what it's supposedly like in Venice. Swim class is fun, fun, fun. Soon, I'll be able to swim to New Jersey, across the Hudson River, to Grand-ma and Grand-pas house, and they have a pool.

The pool at Columbia's Teacher's College is a medieval Turkish bath chock full of Chlorine with temperatures baking up to 165 degrees leaving one crushed by the air before his nose. The parents are forced to stand in the steamy balcony to look down on their kids fighting for their lives. I imagined myself jumping off the balcony into the saturated pool to save my Emma or dropping my camera, I used for these photos, on the lifeguard's head.

There's nothing better than ice-cream on a stick after swim class.

Towel Jacket

2008-07-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

Imagine getting out of a bath and having a towel that both dries you and turns into an outfit. Yes, this is all mine! Check out my towel jacket with the pink tie. Grand-ma Renee in San Diego sent it to me.

Yes, Emma has gone mental for her towel jacket. When I couldn't find it tonight she started moaning "I want my towel jacket." I said, "I really want to give it to you, I don't know where it is." That explanation didn't go over too well. I searched all the normal places and then tried to negotiate, "Well, I can't find it but I'll give you the super giant beach towel and I'll find it tomorrow." That kind of bargain might strike a deal in the senate but not in here. Anyway, I finally found it, and Emma was able to relax and unwind.

Here's sister Maddy in her towel jacket!

Ride 'em high

2008-07-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

"Ride 'em high. Ride 'em low." That's what Jack Catchup, the spittin' swearin' rustler from Texas told me. "Eeeh-ha!" I jumped up on crazy Molly. Yep, she tried to break me, but she and me came to an understanding,: you respect me, I respect you, we'll live to see a brighter tomorrow.

Emma took the "no fear" approach to the Pony ride. She jumped up, grabbed the pommel and rode through the fair grounds like the Electric Horseman.

Wizard

2008-07-12T16:43:00.001-07:00

How is this possible? How is this small person creating these bubbles as large as balloons you see bloating high in the sky carrying three scared people in its basket. The answer is I am so powerful that I am a wizard.

I was just reading the sports section and looked up to see my daughter, Emma, engulfed by these giant bubbles. I thought, what is this, global warming, something about the little bubbles and the atmosphere but then Emma explained to me she was "a wizard."

The Fair

2008-07-08T11:27:00.001-07:00

Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes, Fried Oreos, Orange County house wives dipped in cake batter, they have it all the San Diego county fair. Mommy tried to get me to go on the roller coaster but I told her, "Too scary, too scary." She likes living in the edge but someone has to be concerned for my safety.

Sponge Bob Squarepants was the real and metaphorical guide of the fair. Emma demanded Sponge Bob Squarepants from the second we entered the grounds. I bought her an 8 dollar balloon which she takes around with her, opening doors, sitting in chairs, watching Sponge Bob Squarepants when Sponge Bob wants to watch his own show.

California Dreamin'

2008-07-02T12:02:00.000-07:00

Here I am with Mommy. She saved me from the white water and evil rip tides of La Jolla beach. I played with cousins. Sara dropped me in the sand. Believe me when I say sand doesn't taste great. It's sharp and bitter. I prefer plain bread, plain bagels or bananas.

Getting the family through the metal detectors to San Diego is never easy. We flew with Grand Pa Ira and Grand Ma Annie which was fun. Jet Blue has tiny TVs in the back of the chairs and everyone watched Wimbledon and Sponge Bob Squarepants. Madeleine's baby naming went off smashingly. The Taubmans and the Dermanskys mingled in celebration of all the girls.